A Stitch in Haste

--How does someone get a 5.89 GPA (i.e., when did schools start offering both "Honors" and "AP" classes; what exactly is the difference)?

--Should the student who got the 5.89 GPA lose valedictorian status, and a taxpayer-funded scholarship that goes with it, because she graduated in three years rather than four:

But a school district policy states: "The valedictorian shall be the eligible student with the highest weighted grade-point average for four years of high school."

The dispute over Anjali's status as valedictorian comes down to interpretation: Does four years mean calendar years of school attendance or does it mean completing the credits it takes most students four years to earn?

(Justice Scalia unavailable for comment.)

--How can this be the case...

State officials say it is the local school district's responsibility to determine the highest ranking student, and the state has no authority to get involved.

...if the state is the entity creating, funding and remitting the scholarship?

--What are the policy implications of this Fark comment:

I remember taking study halls because they had no effect on GPA. Sure, I would have loved to take the auto repair or shop classes, but getting an A in those would lower my precious over inflated 5.X GPA.

--How did this 16-year old, graduated-in-three-years loser, who couldn't even keep his Honors Sash on straight, wind up as a graduation speaker with only a 4.3 GPA?


(I think I still have the speech somewhere in my archives. Maybe I'll post it someday.)

--Do you recognize the title reference?