A Stitch in Haste

Demand creates its own supply. So apparently there was a demand for seeing shirtless youths at the local mall:

Behold FlowRider®:

The FlowRider® sheet wave is a skill and thrill attraction with nonstop marketing appeal. The FlowRider® is the "engine" that drives the downstream deep flow channel and action river. The FlowRider has an approximate throughput of 300 riders an hour.

Three hundred mostly young male riders an hour -- in boardshorts. At the mall. "Throughput" indeed.

More:

This is the first time that a FlowRider® machine is being installed within a retail store rather than in a water park or cruise ship. ... Furthermore, the FlowRider® is a unique water attraction in that spectators enjoy watching as much as the participant enjoys riding. Flowboarding is more that a ride; it is a sport.

Or, to quote a fellow blogger:

There I am walking through the mall, and I think to myself "Oh, that store is finally open. I wonder what it's all ab... HOLY CRAP!" There are four, count them, four half naked, ripped surfer guys (I originally typed "dudes" but I just couldn't say that without feeling like a dork), dripping wet, trying to ride this new surf machine. To say I was mesmerized would be an understatement. But how does one watch that, with families and children all around, without pressing one's self right up against the glass?

I couldn't disagree more -- "dude" is perfectly acceptable usage.

Where can I find one?