A Stitch in Haste

Ouch!

A sea operation was launched to "free willy" after a groom suffered a zipper incident on a remote island.

The rescue took place on Arranmore Island, in Ireland, which is about five miles off the mainland.

The groom was celebrating his stag party with friends when disaster struck with his trousers in the early hours.

He was forced to call out the Royal National Lifeboat Institution (RNLI) to rescue him from the island. The groom was taken to Burtonport, where an ambulance transferred him to Letterkenny General Hospital.

RNLI spokeswoman Nora Flanagan said the man was in agony. He said: "Talk about the unkindest cut of all."

Now regular readers of this blog know that I would never include a gratuitous genitalia post without some libertarian angle. So here it is: I hope the RNLI sends the groom a bill for their services.

Just as people should have to pay for their own hurricanes, or blizzards or other recurring "disasters," so too should they have to pay for their own self-made "disasters."

Consider the analogy from the criminal side. We not only fine or imprison wrongdoers, but we also make them pay restitution to reimburse the victims, or the government, for the damage they cause, if it is easily measurable. If we exact restitution for intentional acts, then why not do so for reckless or negligent acts, or just plain bad luck? Why should every Irishman bear the (not insignificant) cost of launching a sea rescue over a stuck zipper?

Another analogy: It's often argued that the rich should pay higher taxes because they have more for the government to protect (e.g., via the police or fire department). Just as those who want higher auto insurance coverage pay higher premiums, so too should the rich, who are "more insured" by the government's public safety programs, have to pay more for that protection through higher taxes. Fair enough, but auto insurance companies also get to seek reimbursement for their payouts from those who are responsible for accidents, either directly through subrogation or indirectly through higher premiums to the insured.

If public safety is viewed as a form of public insurance, then the government, as the public insurer, should try as much as possible to match costs with those who impose them. Such a system is both efficient and equitable.

Still, I hope the traditional marriage night activities were not too badly disrupted. (Did I just say "traditional marriage"?!? Oh dear, how Rick Santorum of me...)