A Stitch in Haste

In the days of my youth the penalty for the petty offense of carrying an open container of alcohol (perhaps a cup of beer on the way from one fraternity party to the next) was to be required to dump it and move along. Of course, depending on your mood and budget, that could be quite a harsh penalty ("Oh man, I just opened that can of Milwaukee's Best!").

I'm far too old now to engage in such sociopathy, so I don't know what the open-container laws are like today, in NYC or elsewhere. I'm pretty sure that's how New York City police officers still control alcohol consumption at parades, especially on St. Partick's Day.

In any case, I've often thought that a similar fate should befall those who break the rules on subway trains and other forms of mass transit. Simply make the transgressor who eats, drinks, plays a boom box or whatever exit the train and have to wait for the next one. It's almost like a 10-minute jail sentence, and it gets the point across (is there anything more boring than waiting for a subway train?).

Well, the New York City subway bureaucracy disagrees:

NYC Transit yesterday recommended that a host of routine subway activities be made fineable offenses — including putting one's feet on a seat, straddling a bicycle, wearing roller skates and moving from one car to another.

The MTA board will meet tomorrow to vote on proposals aimed at reducing crime and improving rider safety because "riding the subway is dangerous."

If approved, the new regulations would carry fines of $50 to $100 and go into effect Oct. 1.

October 1 — just in time for Election Day. Go figure.

But not all the news is bleak:

In another [vote], the committee proposed rolling back a rule against riders' putting packages on empty seats. That would become officially acceptable — provided they didn't interfere with other riders.

Asked why the MTA was in favor of relaxing that particular rule, [a spokesman] pointed to a case last year of a woman who, despite being the only person in the car, was cited after placing a package beside her.

Can there be any lower form of petty bureaucrat that the people who vote on whether putting bags on a seat should be a punishable offense or whether spitting out gum should carry a $50 or $100 fine?

Pathetic.

POST SCRIPT: Those who don't understand the Singapore reference can click here. And everyone remembers Stephanie Willet, right?