Where’s Brian Greene When You Need Him?
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For those of you who are not aroused by physics and cosmology, Brian Greene is the new Carl Sagan. Greene was the host of the popular PBS series “The Elegant Universe” and author of the book of the same name and, more recently, “The Fabric of the Cosmos” (see ad on the right).
So why do we need Brian Greene right now? Well, just as he is able to explain why the universe needs ten spatial dimensions to, um, work, maybe he can also figure out and explain to us why we now need twelve food pyramids:
Physicists have “superstring theory.” I guess this is “super-size theory.” The fact that you need a multi-page website to figure any of it out would suggest as much.
But what difference does that make? The Politics of the Warm Fuzzy Feeling have been placated. The politicians and the bureaucrats “did something.” The fact that it’s something bizarre at best and moronic at worst is entirely irrelevant.
Here’s my pyramid:
eat less, exercise more, avoid the garbage
Doesn’t look like a pyramid? Too bad — like Superstring Theory, it, um, works.
Or doesn’t that matter in politics the way it does in physics?
SIDEBAR: I happen to think that Brian Greene is extremely cute. When I told this to a straight friend, he replied that I was “seeing the intellect and not the face.”
He can vibrate my superstring anytime.
UPDATE: Welcome Slate readers! Hope you'll have a long look around and consider subscribing.
So why do we need Brian Greene right now? Well, just as he is able to explain why the universe needs ten spatial dimensions to, um, work, maybe he can also figure out and explain to us why we now need twelve food pyramids:
Concerned about steadily expanding waistlines, the government flipped the food pyramid on its side, adding a staircase for exercise and giving consumers 12 individually-tailored models for improving their eating habits.
Inside the pyramid released Tuesday, rainbow-colored bands representing different food groups run vertically from the tip to the base. The old single, triangle-shaped pyramid had a horizontal presentation of food categories that many found confusing.
...
The new guide, dubbed "MyPyramid," encourages Americans to customize their diet and exercise regime along 12 models geared to specific calorie needs and levels of physical activity.
Physicists have “superstring theory.” I guess this is “super-size theory.” The fact that you need a multi-page website to figure any of it out would suggest as much.
But what difference does that make? The Politics of the Warm Fuzzy Feeling have been placated. The politicians and the bureaucrats “did something.” The fact that it’s something bizarre at best and moronic at worst is entirely irrelevant.
Here’s my pyramid:
Doesn’t look like a pyramid? Too bad — like Superstring Theory, it, um, works.
Or doesn’t that matter in politics the way it does in physics?
SIDEBAR: I happen to think that Brian Greene is extremely cute. When I told this to a straight friend, he replied that I was “seeing the intellect and not the face.”
He can vibrate my superstring anytime.
UPDATE: Welcome Slate readers! Hope you'll have a long look around and consider subscribing.
Related Posts (on one page):
- The Other Embarrassing Pseudo-Science
- Where’s Brian Greene When You Need Him?
Posted by KipEsquire on
19 April 2005
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