A Stitch in Haste

If, like me, you have been sitting on the edge of your seat waiting to learn who bought the naming rights to the critter I would have designated “Roark’s Monkey” had I an extra $700,000 or so at my disposal, then your wait is over.

And, as is so often the case, reality is a huge disappointment:

GoldenPalace.com won a March 3 online auction that raised money to help manage Madidi National Park in Bolivia, where the species of titi monkey was discovered by a Wildlife Conservation Society scientist last year.

A statement from GoldenPalace.com CEO Richard Rowe suggested the company was looking for a publicity-generating investment more enduring than an item it paid $28,000 for in another online auction last year: a 10-year-old, partly eaten cheese sandwich thought to contain the image of the Virgin Mary.

"This species will bear our name for as long as it exists," Rowe said. "Hundreds, even thousands of years from now, the GoldenPalace.com Monkey will live to carry our name through the ages."

Speaking as an investment banker, I would hazard a guess that if GoldenPalace.com keeps shelling out insane amounts of money for advertising stunts like these, then yes, they can expect Roark’s Monkey the GoldenPalace.com Monkey to be around long after GoldenPalace.com has itself become extinct.

"Yo eleven yo!"

In any case, my basic theses remain unchanged: The best thing ever to happen to the environment is capitalism, and the best way to save the environment is often to buy it.

UPDATE: They're at it again.